It’s Idiots All the Way Up: Back Yourself to Begin

Core Education

I’ve been around some very wealthy, very successful people. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt that should take a bit of fucking pressure off you, it’s this:

It’s idiots all the way up.

Me included.

We look at people with money, businesses and a bit of status and think, “Fuck, they must have something I haven’t. They must know something I don’t.”

Apparently, once you reach a certain income, someone hands you the instructions.

I'm still waiting for mine.

Guess what! They had to figure it out too

We see someone doing well and give them this almost mythical ability. They must have been confident from the start. Had a brilliant plan. Known exactly where they were going, and how the hell to do it.

Then we look at our own uncertainty and decide we’re somehow less capable.

Well, that’s a lovely little arrangement. They get judged on what they’ve built, and you get judged on every doubtful thought you’ve ever had. Very fucking fair assumption?

They’ve had to stumble through it too. Make decisions they weren’t sure about. Fuck things up. Deal with the consequences. Learn something and have another go.

They had the guts to start before they knew how it would all work.

And yes, you can admire what someone has achieved. Learn from them. Ask them questions. Just remember there’s a person under all that success. Someone who has had to learn things, same as you.

“You’re successful.” Mate, I’ve just kept going.

People say to me I’m successful. I look at myself and think:

“I just have never quit, and I work really fucking hard.”

I started Core Benefits in Toowoomba in 2003. What exists today has had years to develop. Years of working, learning, questioning and figuring things out.

People see the business now. I know how much work sits behind it.

I still have things to learn. I still have questions. There are still days when I wonder what the hell I’m doing. Having a business doesn’t magically remove your ability to doubt yourself. Would’ve been a useful inclusion in the registration fee, though.

When you’re comparing yourself with someone further along, remember that you’re looking at years of decisions and effort. You’re allowed to be somewhere in the middle of yours.

You’re allowed to be a beginner. How else were you planning to learn?

This matters when you’re learning massage, building a business or thinking about doing something you’ve wanted to try for years.

You can spend a remarkable amount of time preparing to prepare. Read another thing. Watch another video. Wait until you feel more confident.

At some point, you have to let yourself be the person who doesn’t know yet.

In massage, that means learning the foundations, practising, asking questions and getting feedback. Feeling what changes when you adjust your position. Paying attention to the person in front of you. Developing skill through doing the work.

You’ve got another person’s body and trust in your hands, so learning properly matters. Get guidance, respect their boundaries and work within what you’ve learnt. There’s plenty of room to be curious and responsible at the same time.

If you’re waiting to feel completely comfortable before you learn something unfamiliar, you could be waiting a while. Give yourself permission to walk into the room and say, “I haven’t done this before.”

That’s a perfectly good reason to be there.

Believe in yourself when it’s fucking hard

When the bad days turn into weeks or months, it can be hard to remember what you were working towards. You just want the hard part to end.

I know you’re not the only one feeling that. And I know how easy it is to look around and think everyone else is managing better than you.

This is where I think we need hope. Belief in ourselves. Belief that the work matters and that something good can come from what we’re putting into it.

Sometimes you need to hold onto that before you can see much evidence of it.

But give the evidence you already have a bit of credit, too. You’ve dealt with change before. You’ve had to learn things you didn’t understand. You’ve made decisions without knowing exactly how they would turn out.

You’re here. You’ve figured out a fair bit along the way.

Back yourself to keep learning.

You can have a shit day and still believe in what you’re building. You can feel overwhelmed and still have the guts to have another crack tomorrow. Both can exist in the same person. They certainly do in me.

Stop adding friction to your own life

There’s enough hard work in life without making it a personal requirement to know everything, do everything yourself and look impressive while you’re at it.

Ask the question. Get someone to show you. Have the conversation you’ve been putting off. Make the next step small enough that you’ll actually take it.

And have a look at whose version of success you’re chasing.

If you’re building a massage or wellness business, what do you actually want it to feel like? Who do you enjoy working with? What do you believe in? What experience do you want people to have when they come to you?

Those questions are worth sitting with. It’s hard to back yourself when you’re spending all your energy trying to become someone else.

I’ve caught myself doing it with my writing. A client told me my blogs didn’t sound like me. They were boring. They sounded like everyone else. He was disappointed.

Fair call.

I’d been feeling I should tone things down. Be a bit more like everyone else. Meanwhile, I’m encouraging men to give themselves permission to be who they are.

Apparently, I still need a fucking reminder occasionally.

Learn. Practise. Have a go.

This is part of what I want to bring into Core Education: practical learning, honest conversations and space to develop your own confidence and judgement.

If you want to learn massage, explore the Learn the Art of Natural Touch workshop in Toowoomba. It’s hands-on learning, with time to practise, ask questions and get feedback.

You can also register your interest in the Core Education online massage training planned for 2027. We’ll share details as they’re confirmed.

For massage therapists and wellness business owners, I’ve written The Reason They Return, an ebook about values, finding your niche and creating a client experience that gives people a reason to come back. The same questions apply: what matters to you, what do you do well, and how do you put that into practice? Explore the ebook here.

You don’t need to know how every part of your life or business will unfold before you begin. Learn what you need for the next step. Take it seriously enough to put the work in, and give yourself enough room to laugh when you get something wrong.

Hooray for the people building the plane while they’re flying it.

It takes some fucking guts.